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Self-Empowerment – Moving Away from a Victim Mentality


Do you often (or even occasionally) find yourself making statements such as “Everything always happens to me,” “I never have any luck” or similar comments that undeniably cast you into the role of victim? I see this as the “poor me” syndrome and unfortunately it is something that appears to be all too common. Let’s face it, there are times we all fall into that trap of playing the hapless victim in our ever-shifting life story.

Mostly, we know this is not a healthy place in which to wallow. But sometimes we don’t know. Sometimes we are so caught up in the drama of the “woe is me” outlook that we can’t see or think clearly, and certainly have no clue about how to find a much-improved and joyful path upon which to move forward.

I’ve written much about this topic, but was inspired to revisit this after someone wrote to me the following — and I am paraphrasing: “What about those personalities who thrive on and exploit the compassion of others? How do you limit the damage they can inflict on you?”

Take a good, hard look at that question. What is it about the way it is worded that indicates that the writer of this might be stuck in a victim mentality? (Of course, my question is rhetorical.)

The lesson I have learned — and I am constantly continuing to learn – is that each of us has the power of choice. It is essential to begin to not just grasp this concept, but to profoundly embrace it with all your might and heart.

Well, you might think, we certainly don’t have the power to choose everything in life — and yes, that is a keen and true observation. But we have the power to choose a huge percentage of what happens in our lives. As for the rest, we have the power to choose our own REACTION. If something troubling happens, if a challenge arises, you can either meet it with fuming, raving and negative drama — or you can meet it with strength, understanding and perseverance. You can crumble under the weight of it, or you can take it in stride as a meaningful life lesson. Which outcome would YOU choose? (another rhetorical question that is a no-brainer.)

Another can only “inflict damage” on you if you allow it to happen. I’m not saying it will be easy to keep your cool and and stay in a mode of neutrality, but it is doable.

This is not to say you should enable a troubled or difficult personality or let someone walk all over you or abuse you.

As a powerful adult individual with free will and choice, you are capable of staying tapped in to your inner strength while holding the light of compassion in your heart.

You are capable of holding that peaceful, good-feeling sense of caring and surety within your being. You are capable of retaining a relatively harmonious outlook. You are capable of being peaceful and as neutral as possible when dealing with others who try to “inflict damage” on you. And did I remember to say “you are capable”!!!

It always comes down to doing the inner work to get to the place where you can cast off any vestige of a victim mentality and confidently take on the strength which all of us possess deep within. Sometimes it requires guidance or assistance from others (even a counselor or therapist) but it is certainly a positive path that we can all aspire to trod. Look within yourself — trust that your own personal strength vibrates powerfully in your heart. Genuinely make that commitment to tune in to the powerful, enlightened you that waits to come forth, especially in these spectacular, consciousness-awakening times.


  • I knowingly tune in to my inner strength and guidance to help me make decisions that are beneficial for me.
  • Perseverance and patience are qualities that I consciously work on cultivating.
  • I am a powerful creator and use my ability of choice and free will to design a life experience that is healthy and joyful for me.

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