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Self Empowerment – Be True to Your Core Essence


We sat across from my stepson, trying to impart some tidbits of life wisdom upon him. He was about to embark on a journey all the way across the country beginning a new life, along with his girlfriend, on the west coast, filled with the dreams of youth, and a sense of spirited adventure…

“Stay true to who you are” my husband advised him, “don’t submerge your sense of you in the influence of your partner… Never lose yourself. And though you are part of a couple, always let the individual who you are shine through…”

For my husband and myself — both having been through previous marriages and relationships — know the pitfalls of losing yourself, your core identity, to the generic overview of the “couple equation.”

In my first marriage, I lost myself trying to be what my first husband wanted me to be. Or to be what I THINK he wanted me to be. And it didn’t feel right. In the end, it was probably the undoing of my marriage. He was strong-willed and for me, I just wanted to please him. But I was also very young at the time. And in attempting to please him, to live up to his expectations, I became just a shadow of who I really was. It took years of self-discovery and evolution to return to the light of my core essence. And feel whole and joyful again.

Yes, it is obviously easy for us to get lost in the drama, the passion, or the newness of a relationship. We gladly submerge ourselves in the couple unit. I think most of us go through this experience at some point in our life. Sometimes it is a positive happening and other times not…

But what about the grander perspective? We come in to this world a pure, loving soul ready to begin our amazing journey of LIFE. Perhaps we bring experiences from other times and other lives, but regardless of what our metaphysical or karmic background, we enter this world through the miracle of birth… And we are ready to have a physical adventure here on planet Earth.

I do believe our intentions are all honorable, that we are born tapped in to this great bright light of purity and caring that vibrates profoundly with our newly beating human heart.

However, what happens to us after we begin this path called Life? We are powerfully influenced from day one and onward — by our parents, siblings, our environment in general. Our schools, our religious organizations, the media — all play a huge role in shaping who we become. As children, we are innocent, trusting, looking to shine our little lights in the world. Sometimes we get sidetracked.

It often takes time, life experience, much soul-searching to go back to our core essence, to who we actually were when we entered this world. Ah, if only we could remain so innocently loving…

Looking back, I realize that I was generally a compassionate child. My mother perceived me as a shy, sensitive toddler/youngster and so sent me to learn how to mingle and socialize at the local nursery school. Back then hardly anyone sent their kids to preschool. In fact, the term “preschool” had not yet been coined. But I was ecstatic to be with other children — it was like my life was suddenly illuminated and my heart was awakened with happiness.

But I do remember that the teachers were not happy with one aspect of my interactions and it is almost comical looking back but it had to do with etiquette and behavior at snack time. Everyone’s parents supplied their snacks, but some youngsters did not always have. I would share or sometimes give my entire supply away. In hindsight, I think it was altruistic of me. But the teachers thought I was wimpy, weak and manipulated by others. I know it became an issue, and so what did I really learn — maybe sharing was not entirely good.

But innately I wanted to reach out and connect — and share what I had with those who in my young eyes were “needy.”

However, as time went by, I learned how to be selfish. Everyone taught me this “skill.” It is indeed sad that compassion and generosity were almost frowned upon back then.

However, I wholeheartedly believe that at our soul/core essence we are compassionate, kind and caring. We know how to love, how to embrace abundance in a gleeful way, how to enthusiastically connect with others, how to be non-judgmental. Often, as we move into the flow of our adult lives, we forget some of these things.

If your inner light has dimmed a bit, know it can be rekindled! And let us be forgiving and understanding toward others who may not be as aware or awake as we are. We are all on a fascinating course of personal evolution, and the bottom line is to stay tuned in to your innate guidance, the birth wisdom that resides in your own heart. And even if you lose it for a time, it is always there if you choose to look within and connect to that Higher Consciousness, that spark of Divinity that is joyfully present within all of us!


  • I tap in to who I truly am at my core — to my powerful, radiant inner light.
  • I strive to reflect kindness, consideration, understanding and tolerance out to the world.
  • Though challenges can be trying, I remain strong, focused and tuned in to the spiritual, soulful essence that is me.


  1. Vicki Alssid says:

    I found this a particularly insightful writing. Thanks for taking the time to write and share.

    • Sheryl Schlameuss Berger says:

      Vicki — thank you for your kind words, and for taking the time to check out my blog posts. Wishing you and your family much joy and well-being…