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Money And Abundance – Being Nonjudgmental About Other People’s Relationships With Money


Money. We talk about it, think about it, write about it, strive to have enough of it. There are a million books telling us how to make a million bucks! Our own personal relationships with money are ever-changing and often filled with drama.

But how objective are you when observing others people’s relationships with money? Does the way another person interacts and perceives finances affect you?

My own relationship with people has been influenced by their relationships with money — or more specifically, how they choose to spend money. What I mean is that I am not in complete resonance with all levels of conspicuous consumption. I sometimes find it difficult to be understanding of the curious and (my perceived) wasteful spending of others. And yet, in the scheme of things, the spending of others is truly not my business.

I happen to live in an area where many people enjoy spending in a lavish way. For instance, if I make a new acquaintance and she shows off her pair of $400 shoes (supposedly one of many) I might not be truly comfortable in courting this particular friendship. Now, if someone buys numerous pairs of $400 shoes and is a great humanitarian, or volunteers regularly for a needy cause, then this paints that person in a different light (in my eyes) as opposed to an individual who just delights in collecting extravagant pairs of shoes. So that’s where my human-ness comes in and my challenge is to remain non-judgmental. Because personally, though I have numerous pairs of shoes, the thought of spending said amount on just one pair of shoes is totally outside my realm of thinking. (With women, why does it often come down to the shoes…)

My husband and I have ended up at dinners where the major topic of conversation was “stuff” — how much everyone has, what kind of techie toys and gadgets are part of one’s personal inventory. This has included one-upsman-ship regarding vehicles and vacations. We didn’t enjoy these dinners. and had no idea prior that is the way the conversation would turn.

Certain very spiritual individuals sometimes equate money with attachment. This means attachment to our physical plane here. These individuals do not view the concept of attachment in a positive way. For anything that attaches us to the physical realm will not help us adjust when we do leave this world and move along on our purely spiritual journey. However, a variation of that old saying, “When in the physical life, do as the living” which means it is perfectly okay to enjoy those earthy aspects of living — such as accumulating wealth and those physical possessions that bring us pleasure!

Also, it is important not to confuse the concepts of money and abundance. Abundance does not only have to be financial — it can be an abundance of love, of friends, etc. An abundance of joyful people surrounding us is an extremely positive aspect. Or it can be an abundance of shoes.

To set the record straight, there is nothing wrong with having money. It is wonderful to be in the flow of great financial abundance. To achieve that kind of abundance and invite more of it into our life experience, I strongly believe that we need to look at money in a friendly, uplifting way. And it is essential not to get too caught up in other people’s relationships with money, as that detracts from your own more positive focus of attracting more financial prosperity into your life. As for me, with some of my healing background, I have interestingly enough come to view money as an energy exchange…

What are your thoughts on any of this? Are you able to detach yourself from the money habits of others? Do you personally enjoy accumulating stuff — or are you completely the opposite? Be honest and leave a comment here. I promise to be open-minded!


  • All kinds of abundance flow freely into my life.
  • I am understanding and tolerant of others, even when our views differ.
  • I see myself as worthy of great financial abundance.


  1. David says:

    I enjoy money and what it can bring into my life. I have come to realize though that how we use are money is our business. To me great wealth will be great once I get beyond old beliefs of limitation. I however enjoy simple things and not what others say I should spend money on. It is ok to buy what suits your desires and taste and not what others dictate. Having money doesn’t mean you are not Spiritual it just means you have accepted it as infinitely available like everything else in creation. Having money can be a catalyst to seeing natural abundance which is infinite.
    On personal note I wish society would stop preaching so much about how limited money is. Money is as infinite as we desire but there is a lot people beating limitation. It has become a challenge to try and change the old belief of limitation to infinite abundance.
    Thanks for a great article.
    Peace, David

    • Sheryl Schlameuss Berger says:

      David – thanks for adding your insight here! I do agree that getting beyond limiting beliefs is a challenge for most of us. But as we do, even a little at a time, financial abundance does begin to flow in. And you have the right to spend money any way you wish, without the criticism of others. And I DO agree with your thoughts about being Spiritual means you have accepted money as part of the infinite “energy flow” of the Universe. It would be so beneficial if society could move forward with less focus on limitation — but the best we can each do is to place our own focus on the infinite stream of abundance. Have an uplifting and cheerfully abundant day! ~Sheryl

  2. Debbie says:

    You know what Suze Orman says … “People first, then money, then things.”

    • Sheryl Schlameuss Berger says:

      Debbie – I am so pleased that you have added a comment here. Thank you for that short, but very profound Suze Orman wisdom!