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Archive for Life Balance

Mention the word “ego” to people and you certainly get a variety of reactions, spanning the gamut of responses. To some, the ego represents the blessing of being part of humanity and to others it may seem like a “curse.”

The concept of ego has a multitude of definitions. The dictionary defines it as the “I” or self of any person; distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thoughts.

The Freudian understanding is quite different. It is believed that the ego is part of the personality that mediates the demands of the id, the superego and reality.

The Freudian ego supposedly prevents us from acting impulsively on our very basic urges, helping us behave with some form of normalcy and tact. For example, without the ego, if someone takes a parking spot that you were waiting for, you would simply get out of your car, go over and confront the other person. You might even exert physical force on the other driver in retaliation. Since we have an ego, we know (at least most of us) that this course of action is not the way to go.

I believe we do need our egos to survive here in the physical plane. They make us who we are as unique individuals. They help us persevere in the midst of all the challenges, choices and confusion that we face on a regular basis.

We need to consider our egos in a a gentle, caring and diplomatic way. It is when ones ego takes over in a non-compassionate, unkind way, expanding to give one a controlling, belligerent worldview of intolerance that this facet of our personality becomes a negative one. Thus, the expression such as: “He’s so egotistical. He thinks he is better than everyone else.”

Are you familiar with the idea that the word EGO is just an acronym for “Edge God Out?” When one’s ego dominates in such a way as to cause a person to believe in separation and duality, then he has truly edged out any connection with the Divine.

As a holistic healing practitioner, I embrace the concept of letting my ego step aside while I am facilitating a healing session. I do believe that the most effective sessions are when I relax my own preconceived notions of what needs to be healed, and let a Higher Power determine exactly what healing is appropriate for my client.

However, in every day life, our egos serve an essential role, as long as we keep them in check.

To bring balance and harmony into our ego-driven lives, the inspirational masters and teachers advise us to “drop down into our heart space.” This way we can gain a more open, Divinely-connected and compassionate perspective.

So if we strive for balance between our egos and our soul-selves, with a healthy, confident sense of who we are as well as compassion for others, perhaps that is the place of greatest joy for us here in the physical plane.

What do you think? What is your take on the human ego? Is it a virtue or a vice, a blessing or a curse? Please take a moment to leave a comment here — thank you in advance!


  • I am happy and confident with who I am, and I feel secure in my joyful connections with others.
  • I let my ego guide me in a positive, gentle and compassionate way.
  • I strive to achieve the balance between taking nurturing care of my self and loving care of others.
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Genuine friendships come in all shapes and sizes — and in many varied places, both near and far. We all have friends who are dearly, deeply and profoundly close to us — friends who share in our ups and downs, our tragedies and our triumphs, friends who have clearly and joyfully wound their way into the coziness of our heart space.

Additionally, we all have acquaintances, those who lives touch ours, brush against our reality, but who do not impact us so closely.

And of course, we all experience a range of relationships that span the gamut in between those two ends of the spectrum.

The challenge is to balance it all out, to acknowledge and cherish all of the above in the best and most sincere way possible. Clarity, contact and communication are what I think of as the “Three C’s” of a healthy friendship. These three aspects also need to be offered in an authentically caring, supportive and nurturing manner.

Most essentially, these need to be offered in a non-judgmental way, which is, perhaps the most difficult perspective to cultivate. Over the years, I have been learning to infuse my friendships with as much of this perspective as I can muster.

However, this doesn’t mean sitting back and accepting unhealthy or uncaring treatment from certain “friends” who may not always have your best interests at heart.

In the last few years, I have “lost” a few long term friendships which I never expected to be gone from my life. They were painful losses, but in the long-run, appear to have resulted in a healthier and less stressful aspect of my life experience. These were profound life lessons for me, and helped me understand how important it is to cherish, nurture and support those healthy friendships. I have also begun to distinguish between what I personally need from a friendship in order for it to be a strong, happy and beneficial bond.

Most everyone is familiar with the classification of “fair weather” friends — those who only stay with us when we are in a joyful, optimistic or positive stage of our life. These kind of friends seem to suddenly and conveniently disappear when challenges arise for us.

But I have also experienced that there are “foul weather” friends — those who might gravitate toward taking charge of us in our misery, drama or tragedy. They may feel the extreme need to be needed, thrusting themselves into that role of caretaker or life manager. They often DO serve a genuine role in assisting us through the hard times. However, when the turbulence is over for us, giving rise to more radiant days, these friends seem to suddenly relegate themselves to the background of our lives — or become completely absent.

The very bottom line is that friendships have to be genuinely sharing — an exchange and flow of emotions, talk and genuine concern (yes, even LOVE) for each other.

Anyone who is in a friendship that does not encompass these essential facets will feel slighted and even taken advantage of.

So it is important we set conscious intentions to feed and nurture those friendships that lovingly surround us in order to maintain them and help them grow.

Here are seven basic suggestions:

  1. Connect in person. In this age of a million technical communication devices, it is still key to connect face to face. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a blitz of text messages will do the trick. Spend quality and pleasurable time with those who are close with you. And do this regularly — or as often as both your schedules will allow.
  2. Stay in touch between actual visits. Sometimes nothing beats that old-fashioned phone call with a good friend, just catching up with what is happening in both your lives. And of course, emails and text messages here are a perfectly wonderful way to say a quick hello or give an update. Even using Facebook or Twitter to give brief updates to friends is a newer and far-reaching way to get messages out to a group of friends.
  3. Be bold and confident enough to share true sentiments and emotions. A friend will understand just where you are coming from and be supportive through all emotions, scenarios and challenges.
  4. Be a good listener — and a good ASKER. Cultivate the skill of listening patiently. And afterward or in between, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification, for more information about what your friend is feeling or how they may want to approach a challenge in their life. Everyone loves having focused attention on themselves, will know that you are listening — and will appreciate this.
  5. Express appreciation verbally. Let your friend know how much they mean to you in whatever way you are most comfortable. With a really close friend, you may be able to say “I love you.” On some verbal level, let the friend know that you DO cherish the bond. If a friend has gone over and above what you have expected, tell them so, gratefully.
  6. Let your actions speak for your commitment to the bond. Go the extra mile, particularly for a friend who is down or facing life hurdles – send a bouquet of flowers, a card (even an eCard) or make an in-person visit to help out, cook a meal or lend a shoulder to cry on — whatever will be helpful to a friend in need. Remember birthdays and anniversaries too!
  7. Know that friendships can ebb and flow over the years, and be understanding of this. If a relationship is truly unhealthy and severely negative, you will sense it and feel it in your heart. And if it continues in a prolonged way, you can always let it go as diplomatically as possible.

Friends exist at every level. I treasure my friendships — the full range of them — from those who are close in-person friends to those whose lovely and uplifting energies I have connected with on Facebook and the internet. Be open to all new friendships and possibilities. Let your life unfold with a heartfelt desire to joyfully connect with others who resonate with you, as this will definitely enhance your journey!


  • I gratefully cherish all the close and caring friendships that warm my life.
  • I make the time and effort to express appreciation to my friends, and I feel joyful!
  • It is easy for me to listen patiently and supportively to others and I know that I will receive the same attention.

Life Balance – Keeping Your Cool During the Busy Holiday Season

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If this season is supposed to be about peace and love, why is it that the hectic pace of life at this time of the year often leaves us feeling anything but peaceful and loving?

Balancing all the relationships in our lives, keeping our cool about our work life, trying to retain harmony within our over-scheduled days, refraining from getting caught up in the frenzy of all our blinking electronic devices that seem to make demands on us — these combine to create a substantial challenge in our everyday lives. And then add in all the increased holiday demands…

So how do we cope, and prevent ourselves from getting the stressed-out, burned-out holiday blues? Here are some suggestions:

• Put your main focus on the “big important stuff” meaning spending time with family and friends. This lovely up-close-and-personal time is so key, because isn’t love and caring an essential element of the season? So be sure to spend peaceful, unhurried time with those you love. Having fun and sharing heartfelt celebration with your circle of family and friends should be the priority on the list!

• Calendar everything!  This time management skill is extra important as your calendar gets busier and fuller. Write it all down, and if you need to, add those alarm reminders on your internet calendar or smartphone for those things you may tend to forget. Those little alerts can be quite helpful!

• Make efficient to-do lists. Some people love these and some hate them. But the bottom line is keeping everything jumbled in your head can be quite difficult. So be sure to spend just a little time each day (or the night before) prioritizing and itemizing your daily tasks. If you know it is written down, even if it is nowhere near to being done, you at least have a sense of being organized about it and know that it will not slip through the cracks of your memory.

• Delegate as much as possible. Anytime a spouse, partner, child, parent, relative or friend can assume the responsibility of a certain task, let them. No need to be a holiday superhero and do everything yourself.

• Run errands that are in close geographical proximity. Try to divide your time up well and group those errands together — this conserves both time and gasoline.

• Focus on the now. Never underestimate the power of living in the moment! When your life is over-full, your thoughts and plans tend to get jumbled, disjointed and distracted. And you feel stressed out. By reigning in your focus and being truly present, you will feel more joyful with a greater sense of serenity and fulfillment.

• Practice authentic gratitude. If you have let this slip by, now is as good a time as any to bring this to the forefront. Consciously strive to be in appreciation of the many blessings that surround you — and verbalize your feelings to others. Aside from the obvious – showing gratitude to those close to you, go the extra mile and practice some random gratitude.  (for instance, give extra praise or appreciation to your hairstylist, the person who holds the door open for you, the pleasant cashier at the supermarket, etc.) The recipients will be happily surprised and radiant. Gratitude will leave you feeling joyful!

• Make time, make time, make time for yourself! (Got the message?) Consistently doing and running and caring for others (such as buying loads of holiday gifts for just about everyone) can be more fatiguing than fun at times. Make sure to take time to nurture yourself — a special lunch or dinner out, a massage (or a Reiki session,) catching up with an old friend, a night out at the movies, or just getting zen with a relaxing meditation — give yourself the gift of something you personally enjoy.

So don’t over-schedule, focus on what’s meaningful — and be sure to have a loving, warm and magical holiday season!


  • I look forward to the holiday season with joyful anticipation and childlike wonder.
  • By staying focused on the now moment, I feel happier, more centered and more peaceful.
  • I make it a priority to spend fun and loving times with my close family and friends.
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Do What You Love – Lessons from Steve Jobs

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“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.” ~Steve Jobs

The world lost a profound visionary and creative genius this last week with the passing of Steve Jobs. Personally, I was quite saddened to hear the news, as I admired this man who had achieved the harmonious life balance between his passion for work and his love of family. He was a man who basically changed the world. And he was, in all respects, a good man — one who was admired and respected by all. This became emphatically clear from all the statements made by the captains of technology, as well as major political figures, including the President, upon hearing of his passing.

On a personal level, Steve Jobs impacted my own life — as his invention of the Apple computer basically brought to me my original career as a graphic designer. The Mac made it possible to do wonderful creative design (and what used to be called desktop publishing) from the ease of a keyboard and mouse. And I have been delightedly using a Mac computer for over twenty years now.

Of course, adding the iPod changed the way we listen to music and the iPhone changed the way we use our mobile devices and connect with the world from wherever we may be.

The lessons we learn from such a man are profound. He empowered people with the concept of following your passion, doing what you love. He walked his talk. He showed us what perseverance, persistence and little bit of magical thinking could do! He was the epitome of “stick-to-it-ness.” Even battling his disease, he lived way longer than is normally possible with such a diagnosis. His will to live was so strong and by willing those additional years, he was able to continue to contribute toward furthering the technology of the world as well as having more time with his beloved family.

On all levels, he loved the work he did. He loved life. He lived life as if each day were his last. Can we take away these same lessons for ourselves?

Can we find the joy and passion in what we do? For me, my life path shifted after many years of graphic design as I found myself fascinated and engaged with the field of holistic healing.  I discovered that the healing profession truly ignites my passion. My graphic design background comes in handy to help me create and maintain my healing and positive living websites. But healing and coaching around the concept of mind, body and spirit connection are now my focused life journey…

So, seek your bliss and find the life path that truly resonates with your heart. And as Steve Jobs encouraged, “don’t settle.”

Live each day deeply and richly, as if it were your last. Because truly, who knows exactly when their time in this physical plane will be over? Make it a priority to reach for joy and to focus on all that you love. And spend time with those who love you.


  • I utilize my inner guidance to pursue a life path that resonates with my genuine heart.
  • It is my profound intention to seek joy in all facets of my life.
  • Spending time with those I love creates uplifting, good-feeling moments and memories.
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It’s been said by a number of inspirational teachers that we are “multi-dimensional” beings. It’s also been said that we are “spiritual beings having a human experience” and not the other way around. Any way you look at it, I profoundly believe that there is more to us than just flesh, blood and bone — more to us than just this speck of human existence planted here on planet Earth.

Many of us feel, at one time or another, a connection to something that is much bigger, grander and more powerful than our existence here in the physical embodiment. I believe we all have an innate spark of divinity that lies within us, keeping us “networked” in with God/Universe/Divine — whatever your own personal perceptions are. Some people are more closely connected with that inner knowing than others.

This connection to an alternate dimension may often be called the “spiritual” side of us. Because at the same time as we exist in these human vehicles, is it also possible that we exist on another level in a more spiritual dimension?

Another thought: part of us may still exist in the past of our own lives and in the future of our own life — so could this time continuum also be considered even another dimension? There are many theories, which I will not go into here (you can read them elsewhere.) I am merely suggesting the possibility that we DO exist in several dimensions.

Yet, the dimension that is hopefully the most real to us is our present reality in human form. And part of our nature, as I have seen over and over again, is to embrace drama in our lives. A major aspect of the human experience is interaction with others, and that always leads to some form of conflict. Because our lovely human egos so often and eagerly give birth to drama.

Even a network of healers I am with (and we all consider ourselves quite spiritual) is not immune to that, as I have seen the last few weeks. Why was I surprised by a chain of events that was almost soap opera? But our group is private and I will not share any further information — just lessons learned from being an observer. I tried not to get involved, but somehow was pulled in, like a strong whirlpool dragging me in. But I will say that I managed to remain as objective and compassionate as possible to all parties concerned. It would seem that this particular group who embraces their multi-dimensional side in a very authentic and caring way, would not ever display some of these kinds of conflicts…

So we must acknowledge our egos and our oft-volatile emotions, yet make an attempt to keep them in check. Occasional drama is inevitable for most of us (and we must admit that sometimes we even find it exciting) but continuous streams of it are stressful and trying. So look inward for yourself — are you the kind of person that often creates or inspires drama? Really be honest with yourself. Because drama always causes someone else to be uncomfortable.

And if you answered “yes” or “maybe” to that question, begin the work of finding more peace and balance, and perhaps exploring your spiritual side.

Or, are you a person who is extremely reactive to drama? Know that you CAN refrain from becoming engaged in the winds of conflict. You have that choice.

But in any case, consciously embrace more harmonious and compassionate thoughts. It is helpful to try to see a situation from the perspective of others involved, as opposed to just your own line of vision, which can be limited. Turn down the drama, but turn up the kindness and the love…


  • I release negative drama from my life experience and I choose a more harmonious reality.
  • It is joyful and fulfilling to interact with others using positive and supportive communication.
  • I choose to react in a peaceful way toward any emotional drama that arises in my life.
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Life Balance – Positive Affirmations and Healthy Thought Patterns

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I was speaking with my Aunt just this morning, trying to find out how she is recovering after numerous health challenges and time spent in the hospital. True to her usual character, she made the statement “I’m never getting better. It’s just not happening.”

My Aunt has never been the most positive kind of individual, which frustrates me, as I feel she is missing out on a having a more joyful life experience. But she IS my Aunt, and of course I do love her. And I do realize and respect her choices, even if I don’t agree with them or see them as being particularly beneficial.

Fortunately, I do believe that her stubbornness, persistence and sheer will to have improved health will serve to get her better, despite her gloomy mindset. However, her energetic and emotional outlook can certainly use some healthy tweaking!

Without giving my Aunt a full lecture on positivity, I just gently suggested that instead of saying “I’ll never get better” to start saying “I’m definitely going to get better” and that in general being positive will be much more beneficial for her. “You know,” she said, “Everyone keeps telling me that.” Sometimes moving away from a deeply ingrained negative-thinking pattern is extremely difficult or next to impossible.

Our thought patterns are cultivated during early childhood. Our initial ways of viewing ourselves and the world that surrounds us are mostly determined by our immediate sphere of influence — parents, extended family members, our teachers and even religious leaders. If those surrounding us thrive on the negative, then how are we going to grow up? What will our beliefs be?

Of course, that question is rhetorical.

Our personal epiphany comes when we realize that YES, we can change and shift forward into a better-feeling and generally more joyful everyday reality.

Hopefully, most of us come to an understanding about how profoundly powerful our thoughts and statements can be, and that choosing ones like “I am definitely going to get better” is going to have a major positive impact on our well being.

I believe that the Universe gives huge focus to all of our statements that begin with “I am…” and responds rather quickly to them. So if we say “I am tired, I am sick, etc” the Universe will respond to that vibration of imbalance and continue to provide us with more imbalance, which of course, is the opposite of what we truly desire. So we have to use great clarity when choosing what follows those words “I am…”

Thoughts such as “I am happy, harmonious and healthy” or “I am relaxed and calm, and feel good about where I am along my life path” are excellent positive affirmations to use on a regular basis. So if you can relate a little too well with the negative “I am” thoughts, then maybe it’s time to have your own mini awakening. You, too, have the ability to make a conscious shift toward bringing more of these feel-good, high-vibration thoughts and statements into your field of thinking and your conversations. And it may have quite a remarkable impact on your everyday life and overall happiness!


  • I am joyful, radiant and in perfect alignment with the Universal stream of harmony and well being.
  • I am open and receptive to all the light-filled, positive aspects that surround me each day.
  • I do the inner work to shift toward good-feeling thought patterns and statements that support both my physical and emotional health.
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There is always great focus and much written about love and compassion for others, and how the world will be a better place if we can all mobilize this lavish wave of love for others. And of course… that’s probably true. But the most critical step in this altruistic process is to first honor, respect, value and love yourself. For many people, that is no easy task. Often self-love is so very low on the hierarchy of priorities — and yet, it should undeniably get top billing.

In an article by coach and therapist, Darlene Lancer, she describes the three progressive stages of caring about oneself: self esteem, self acceptance and finally self-love. These stages/feelings build on one another and begin at the basic “self-esteem” which is the foundation of what you think of yourself. This can change depending on circumstances and life’s roller coaster of ups and downs.

Self-acceptance is a step above, where your good feelings about yourself are quite constant despite life’s challenges and changes — and despite what others may think of you.

Self-love is the pinnacle point of honoring oneself — a combination of both feeling and actions. It is at this stage that your emotional health and sense of self are in excellent balance and you are at peace with both yourself and your outer world.

People often feel guilty about caring for themselves, nurturing themselves. This may be particularly true of women — who often feel that in the traditional and classical sense, they must be the nurturers of others first. It might be a natural instinct to care for, protect and nurture one’s young and one’s family.

However, in today’s modern times, there is no excuse not to be able to take care of yourself — your needs, your joy and your health along the way while still being a compassionate caregiver. In fact, I believe it is essential to be in the place of self-love to be a better and more empowered care-giver. For if you are deprived of feeling good about yourself, how can you possibly be there — in an attentive, genuinely caring way for others?

There is always much angst surrounding the line between being selfish and self-caring. Sometimes when people tell us WE are being “selfish,” it is out of their own unhealthy, short-sighted need to have to control over us. It takes some soul-searching sometimes to sort that out and be clear about our own needs and how to be kind to ourselves and “self-responsible.”

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., bestselling author and relationship expert, spells out the following significant points to keep in mind about when we are being self-responsible, as opposed to being “selfish:”

  • “We are being self-responsible, not selfish, when we do what brings us joy, with no intent to harm another — even if another person doesn’t like it.
  • We are being self-responsible, not selfish, when we support our own highest good, even when someone wants us to do something other than what we are doing.
  • We are being self-responsible when we are considerate of others’ wants and needs without giving ourselves up.”

The bottom line is that it is so necessary to honor your life with kind and appropriate self-care. Having that healthy balance between treating yourself compassionately, and nurturing and caring for others, is the key to better well-being. And it is essential for more harmonious, loving relationships.

If more people would be of this mindset, this might help with the healing of the rest of the world in a more global way.  For healing begins within… and genuine love begins and flourishes first within you…


  • I treat myself with kindness and make time to do things I enjoy.
  • By cultivating self-love, it is easier for me to be nurturing and compassionate toward others.
  • Healing and well-being arise from my inner thoughts and feelings, so I consciously choose joyful ones!

Please let me know your thoughts about this and leave a comment here. Do you feel a sense of self-esteem or self-love? Or do you mostly put others first and yourself last?

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Do we tend to cram too much into our days and lives? How many tasks are too many for a healthy, balanced lifestyle?

For my own personal planning, I like to use Jack Canfield’s productivity tip called the “Rule of Five” which is listing five “to-dos” that are manageable, doable and clear in terms of one’s goals for the next day. My list WAS manageable for awhile but I lately find the list is overrun with way too many disjointed tasks and actions that I frantically try to get done. So I need to go back to streamlining and giving better thought to what I wish to accomplish. And just how I wish to spend divide up my days between work and pleasure.

Sometimes I believe it is where I live — that Long Island as part of the greater metropolitan area, breeds what I am coming to think of as the “too-busy” lifestyle. Or maybe it is now at the life stage I am at that my brain is just chock full of ideas, plans, as well as events, obligations, chores, etc. that pull me in every direction. Or that I ALLOW to pull me in every direction.

There are volumes written about time management and I myself write much about the beauty of living in the now moment. Yet when I pull back and get an objective glance at the multitasking that has become all too familiar to me, I realize that I need to do some real work on shifting this too-busy reality.

Do I truly have an answer about managing the too-busy lifestyle — perhaps not, since the way of shaping your day is a personal decision. However, I encourage you (as well as myself) not to lose sight of what is truly significant and part of our foundation for living a positive and connected life.

Do not be too busy to:

  1. Awake with happy anticipation and greet your day as if you expect fantastic events to unfold and all things positive to flow to you.
  2. Hold on to your light. Find your center, achieve your balance and focus on what is good within you as well as externally. Immerse yourself in an attitude of appreciation. Remain connected to your inner guidance.
  3. Shine your light for others. Allow the wellspring of compassion to always supply you with kindness toward others, whether they be human or animal.
  4. Remember your connection to the Divine, Source, your higher consciousness – whatever you personally relate to. And be joyful and honor that connection!
  5. Find pure bliss and peacefulness in each living, breathing moment, which means making an effort to focus on the present moment with clarity. Empower yourself with this simple but profound concept.

What about your own reality? Do you pace yourself well and manage your time in a coherent and balanced way? I’d love to know your thoughts, so please take a moment to post a comment here on my blog and I promise I won’t be too busy to read and respond to it!


  • When I awake, I look forward to my day with joyful enthusiasm and anticipation.
  • I focus my rapt attention on living in the clarity of the now moment.
  • I find it easy to shine my light of compassion and understanding to help and encourage others.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Or, more importantly, exactly WHO do you see? Is it an individual who is basically happy, accepting and understanding of yourself? Or is it the big critic that reflects back to us? Glimpsing your entire reflection, do you automatically think, “I’m too skinny, too heavy, too short, too sad-looking, etc.” Or can you smile at yourself and be totally at ease with the person that looks back at you?

If you are in the flow of a balanced life, your reflection should be a joyful one — one that you perceive as harmonious and looking quite good. Catching your reflection, even unexpectedly, should make you smile and not wince. However, if you are in the “flaw” of life — then you are noticing and fixating on your flaws and imperfections, physical and maybe even mental/emotional.

So perhaps the mirror indicator is a “reflection” (pun intended) on where you actually stand in your own personal comfort level with your core essence. Because even if your nose is long and your stomach is wide, if you are truly at ease with yourself, the mirror will not cause you stress.

I believe that in our quest to achieve a balanced, joyful life we must be truly comfortable with our authentic selves. Does that mean we should not strive to work on being more motivated, more compassionate, more understanding, more communicative, or even a bit thinner, more toned, or more (fill in the blank for yourself)? Absolutely not. However, being at ease within our own skin and psyche is an intrinsic part of a peaceful and optimistic mindset.

So pay attention to your reaction when you pass the mirror (especially a full length one because that gives you the picture of yourself in your physical entirety) and just note your initial response. Is it a flutter of happy recognition, or do you immediately see an area that needs improvement? If the critic in the mirror instantly comes to life, then maybe it is time to start doing the inner work of self-acceptance along with gentle, consistent shifts toward more positivity.

One powerful exercise is to actually DO mirror work. This one is from Jack Canfield. Just before bedtime, stand by a mirror and speak out loud to your reflection, reviewing your day in a positive light. Go over those things you did, such as if I’m speaking to myself “Sheryl, it’s fantastic that you went to the gym and worked out. It’s very healthy for you. You finished writing that article for your next newsletter, so you are caught up with that. You responded to all emails from prospective Reiki students. This morning’s healing session clearly was beneficial to your client. Later in the day, you prepared a healthy and tasty dinner for your husband and yourself.” Then at the very end just say to yourself, “It was a great day. I love you.” You might feel really embarrassed at first, but with patience and practice, your perception and relationship with yourself will improve.

Or, if you prefer a more succinct version of this, stand before a mirror at night and just acknowledge any or all of the following: “I am happy with myself on all levels. I am grateful for all that I do and all that I have. I feel good about my accomplishments of the day. I appreciate all those who love me.”


  • I am comfortable with who I am, and where I am along my life path.
  • The compassion and understanding I show toward others is always mirrored back to me.
  • I practice self-acceptance and treat myself with kindness.
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Has picking up the phone and making an actual call become a lost art? With the proliferation of texting and emailing — have we forgotten how important, courteous and powerful the actual spoken word can be?

Recently I had a class scheduled and one of my students had to cancel out last minute — except she forgot to call and tell me! It was not much before the start of class, and I just happened to take a quick look at my email, discovering a brief, but apologetic, message from her. Normally, I check my email once in the morning the day of a class. If I hadn’t done a quick check again later, I suppose I would have been sitting there with my other students,  just waiting for her…

I strongly believe it is still common courtesy to make that phone call when appropriate. Maybe the younger generation is far more immersed in keyboarding their communication via text messages or emails. But some of the more mature generation has become lax with connecting via the phone too.

I’m not going to deny that texting is a significant convenience. For me personally, it helps keep me in quick touch with my children when we need just a brief communication. When they are going on a long trip and I get their asked-for text “I’m here” just to let me know all is well, that is so reassuring. I understand that many parents of teenagers maintain a close line of communication through texting. Anything that keeps that connection strong during the teenage years is a beautiful thing!

My children are now beyond their teen years, but do we still email? Yes. Do we still text – yes. But we also talk. And I am always joyful to hear their voices. And we talk regularly.

There is something very powerful about speaking on the phone — sharing that close sense of live connection. It is a tangible feeling of real interaction, as opposed to a sentence popping up across a cell phone screen.

When I was a child, there were no computers or cellphones and I was lucky if my parents “allowed” me to use the telephone because they felt it was for adult use only. (I recall times I had to nearly BEG my parents to have the phone for a few minutes.) In my wildest dreams, I could never have imagined a world filled with this moment-to-moment real-time communication via small pocket-sized technological devices. These devices have revolutionized communication but it is still essential to apply some courtesy to modern connectivity.

But the bottom line is — stay in touch in whatever way works for you. Just don’t shy away from making that phone call!

And keeping with that thought — does anyone ever send a letter via the old “snail mail” — and I don’t mean paying bills or sending birthday cards. Think back — when was the last time you wrote and mailed a letter to someone?


  • I enjoy connecting with others regularly — it brings joy into my reality!
  • Communicating clearly with others helps me build healthy relationships.
  • I offer compassion, encouragement and support in my close and genuine communication with others.
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